I watched a recent episode of Hoarding that dealt with a pastor’s wife and her husband.
Her husband had made demands of her and then moved out. So, the woman called this show and proceeded to make steps toward shoveling out her house.
Did her husband come to her aid? Did he come by to help her clean out what his emotional abuse had caused?
No. He did not.
This is how I see it:
Unless he is in control, he wants nothing of it. One of the reasons this woman hoarded was because it was the one passive-aggressive thing she could control in her life.
Was it right?
No, it wasn’t. But sometimes, when your life is all wrapped up in keeping up appearances, and never letting anyone know your dirty little secrets, this kind of behavior can erupt.
If there’s one thing I can’t abide, it’s a man who calls himself a minister and then emotionally neglects his wife or throws his weight around to the point she is suffocated, emotionally abused and beat down.
I know preachers who think if they walk in the door they should be worshiped and waited on the way the ladies in the church do. I know preachers who say one thing from the pulpit, who act one way in church towards their wives and then slap them and call them vile names at home. I know preachers who think their wives have no other purpose in life but to be chamber maids and prostitutes for the pastor.
Sir, at home you are not her pastor. You are her husband. Quit thinking you are more high and mighty than you really are:
"For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God has dealt to every man the measure of faith." Romans 12:3
When you meet your Maker face to face, you’re going to have some explaining to do. You’re going to have to explain why you treated your wife like chattel instead of the precious jewel she is.
If pastors would love their wives as Christ loved the church, there wouldn’t be the type of behaviors such as hoarding or overspending. When a man loves a woman like Christ loves the church, there is nothing that woman won’t do for him.
God did not create us to be dominated and controlled. He created us to be loved. God is the one in control, not you, and when you try to control your wife, you are saying God isn’t doing a good enough job. You are taking the reins from God’s hands and steering your life down the wrong road.
Preachers, I’m calling you out. Love your wife more than you love your church. Love your wife more than you love your power. Your wife isn’t going to admire you the way your congregation does because she knows the real you without the anointing upon you. And let me tell you something, you are not and can never be as special as the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Just remember this: God will use a Jackass to speak through if He has to. You’re not any more special than any other man. You’re merely a vessel. So put your big boy pants on, get off your high horse, and repent for not loving your wife the way God commands you to. Stop blaming your wife for all your problems.
Don’t expect your wife to worship you. That’s satanic at its core. She is your helpmeet, your equal.
Act like it.